Feb 28, 2012

Snacktator Jolie

Although El has fabulous gams... he couldn't resist. El is also taking application for a new photoshop assistant...

Jan 27, 2012

Ahem, Pinko

No worries. Just El doing a friendly drive-by.

Jan 25, 2012

Heed the Cupcake

Yes, El has been absent. Between holiday festivities, and a certain bankruptcy that shall remain unnamed, El's plate has been full.

Due to the bankruptcy, it is unknown whether El will get his pension, which is why El continues finding ways to reinvent himself. El is much more than a cupcake, he's an icon, and should be revered. If The Shat can do it, so can El! El could do a one cupcake show!!

And speaking of reveling in the cupcake... it has not gone unnoticed that almost all articles regarding a certain bankruptcy fail to mention THE CUPCAKE!!!

Rick Ruggles?? I'm talking to you (and everybody else, but yours was the last article El read). El realizes your slant was health and new snacking habits. For that matter, El can't really even bust you, because El has long grown tired of people trying to take a bite out of him and wouldn't mind if they stopped, but you could have at least mentioned the cupcake.

El ran with the best and the brightest. El was courted by artists and literary stars! El used to be on the A-list of who was invited to dinner, not only because he was tasty, but because he was EL SNACKTATOR!!! And yet journalists like Rick still write things like this:

The bankruptcy filing of Hostess Brands, which makes Twinkies, Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, Suzy Q's and other sinfully succulent snacks, confirms that everything changes, including eating habits.

Again, El asks... where's the mention of the cupcake... Really Rick??

El has had a rough number of years... trying to reinvent himself, trying to not live in the past, trying to once again catch lightning in a bottle (Don't bust El's chops for split infinitives, Rick... you're the journalist, not El). He could use a little adoration. He could use a little reveling in his El-ness. But now, all we hear about is the Twinkie.

Well, that's going to change. The Mayans aren't the only ones predicting things for 2012. No, El is going to reclaim his rightful spot in the grand scheme of things. He never really was one of those mass-produced things anyhow. They were inadequate copies of the one true snack cake.

People will still be eating him up.

Heed the cupcake!


Nov 17, 2011

Dylan Pez Nightmare

How is it possible that El has not posted in almost two months?! El guesses the fact that he ended up on the cutting room floor right before his German premiere had something to do with it...

But, El is back... to talk of nightmares and to soothe his shaken mind.

Last night, as El was deep in slumber, did El dream about being the .00001%?? No, El dreamed about being stalked by a grammatically correct Pez dispenser. Yes, that's right. Dylan... Dylan Brody, El's #1 stalker, stalked him in his dreams.

El couldn't run. El just stood there, throwing his hands into the air, trying to strike his iconic pose, but unfortunately, he only ended up looking like he had surrendered. 


Sep 17, 2011

German Premiere!!!

Yes, El knows he's been gone... Yes, El knows you've missed him, but like most American icons, El has been filming in Germany. We've got to make a living, right?? Even The Hoff knows this! Although, El confesses to not being a huge Hoff fan. As one of El's German friends said... no, not all Germans are ga-ga uber das Hoff... He said, "The Hoff has no pathos!"

Nuff said.

El wants it on a t-shirt.

But back to El... El's German video debut will be this next Sunday. Stay tuned!

And... Dieter?? You and your monkey may eat your heart out!

Aug 30, 2011

El takes a moment to stand on his cake box...

And tells you to GO READ THIS... written by El's #1 stalker, Dylan Brody. El loves it. El also knows Dylan has gotten hate mail. El has seen some of the comments... El never ceases to be amazed at people who continually miss the point. El is also heartened by the fact that many people do get it.

Here... El will give you a little teaser right here... then GO READ THE REST! Do it! El doesn't really ask for much considering he is ruler of all... and as ruler of all, he says, go read. Go on.

When kids in grade school told me that I was going to Hell because I did not believe in God, my parents admonished me not to fight over it, not to argue the point. They told me that Christians find that offensive and there was no reason to actively offend people. I was not to use curse words in public as they offend some people. I was not to talk about politics because some people could be offended. I carried a lot of this sensitivity into adulthood. I have striven over the years to express my opinions gently, to couch them in good humor and have taken care, whenever possible to maintain the high ground. I have put effort into voicing my ideas without ruffling anyone's feathers.

Those with whom I disagree have never shown me the same courtesy. Telling a child that he will be punished eternally for his thoughts is cruel. Eliminating words from the common vocabulary, regardless of the social mores that prompt the action, is censorship unmitigated.